Monday, November 14, 2011

Top Ten Toddler Myths

A girlfriend of mine gave me the most hilarious book to read,The Girlfriends' Guide to Toddlers by Vicki Iovine. I read her book The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy, and laughed all the way through it, so I was super glad to hear she had written one about Toddlerhood.

Sorry to bore you moms out there with grade-schoolers reading this, but had to post some of the books laugh out loud hilarious tidbits that I've read so far.

I am still only on Chapter One, but her description of toddlers and how they evolved from infants cracked me up!:

"Mother Nature was so smart to give you your child in infant form first and give you a year to get to know your baby in a somewhat calm and orderly fashion before turning into toddlers. Sure she may have wreaked havoc with your sleep, nursed until you thought your breasts would fall off and she may have left you with 10 pounds you have no use for, but she probably cooperated most of the time. Not that toddlers aren't adorable, it's just hard to imagine devoting your life to a person who breaks your things, eats with her hands and hurls herself onto the floor if she doesn't get her way, if you aren't first hopelessly devoted to the little tyrant."

See what I mean? She captures the toddler stage so well.

And I love her Top Ten Toddler Myths:

10.  The smarter the baby, the earlier she learns to walk

9. If they can talk, they can be reasoned with

8. Toddlers can't wait to sleep in their own beds, especially if the sheets have race cars or Barbies on them

7.  Biters are the product of miserable parenting

6.  Boys and girls will play exactly alike if never exposed to gender specific toys like dolls and weapons

5.  Nature will ensure that toddlers are attracted to the food their growing bodies need

4.  Toddlers love newborns, especially new baby brothers or sisters, and can be counted on to treat them kindly

3.  Toddlers love animals, and can be counted to treat them kindly

2.  The difference between toddlers and babies is that toddlers are better at expressing their emotions

1.  Your mother really did have you fully potty trained at eighteen months

I can't wait to get in bed and start Chapter Two.


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