"Choose"

I've been working really hard at my choice giving techniques that I talked about here, but the one thing I have struggled with has been using the word 'choice' when I give them to my daughter.  Or maybe struggled isn't the best word, it's more like I have forgotten to use the word 'choice' in my choice giving.

For instance, yesterday it went down like this:

"Do you want mommy to put you to bed, or do you want daddy?"  I thought I was giving her a choice.  But...no.

My toddler continued to run around the room acting as if she didn't hear me.

So I realized I had once again NOT given my child a choice.  Without using the word, "choice" in there, I was not really giving her a real choice.  And we all know how much easier life is in a home with toddlers when you give them choices.  It makes them feel empowered and it makes them more likely to comply without a huge power struggle.

So I quickly said, "You can choose for mommy to put you to bed or you can choose daddy, who do you choose?" and she quickly said, "mommy!" and ran down to her room to go to bed!

Amazing huh?

That little word makes all the difference.

If you aren't giving your children 2 (or more) choices by using the word "choice" in there, then you aren't really giving your child a choice.

It's sooo easy to forget, as I find myself saying, "do you want to..." instead of "do you choose to?..."  But it makes all the difference. 

I know, I know, I'm being super technical here, but it really does make a difference.  Try your own little experiment at home and see how much more likely they are to comply when you use that magic word and let us know :)