Encouragement goes a long way

This is our last week at home together before preschool starts next week, and although my 3 year old and I are both ready, I am a little sad that she is going to be a 3-day-a-week student vs. twice a week like last year :(  So with that being said, we have been spending some quality time together and it's given me the time to use the Positive Reinforcement techniques from my favorite parenting book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen.  If you haven't been reading my blog, then you probably have no idea how obsessed I am with this book.  (Hmm, parenting books review post in the near future maybe?)

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (12$ Amazon)

Anyway, so this book basically says that if you give your child positive Praise Encouragement, then you will start seeing more of that desired behavior.  I've posted about some of the techniques before here, and here  almost 2 years ago, but basically I call it 'catch them being good.'  

Here's a refresher on how it works:

Catch them being good: When you see something they are doing that is desired (saying "thank you", excusing themselves from the table, etc.) give them verbal praise and encouragement and use a loud voice, sound super happy and give them lots of attention. As compared to the negative reinforcement, where you catch them being 'bad' and raise your voice, give them lots of attention for it and then, alas, they do it over and over again to annoy you because, 'mommy sure got super excited and stopped what she was doing to pay attention to me.'

Here's how it went down in my house this week:

Scenario #1 Child: Climbs up into her chair to eat lunch by herself without me having to ask her.

Me: "OH MY GOODNESS, DID YOU JUST CLIMB INTO YOUR SEAT ALL BY YOURSELF?  AND YOU GOT RIGHT IN IT WHEN I TOLD YOU IT WAS TIME FOR LUNCH! YOU ARE SO AMAZING THAT YOU DID THAT, WOW I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!"  (caps=super excited voice)

Child: Smiling ear to ear, continues to do this on her own the rest of the week

Scenario #2 Child: Shares a toy with younger sibling

Me: "YOU JUST GAVE A TOY TO BABY BELLE, AND SHARED WITH HER, WOW!! YOU DID SUCH A GREAT JOB AT SHARING!!"

Child: Smiling.

Me: More verbal encouragement "You are so proud of yourself" and she continued to share with her, no joke!

I also try super hard to notice the smallest little things to give encouragement, things we take for granted at times, will reinforce more and more of good behaviors.  For example:

Scenario #3: Me: Hands her a cup of milk to drink

Child: "Thanks momma"

Me: "OH WOW, YOU SAID THANK YOU! THAT IS SO NICE OF YOU TO SAY THAT WHEN I HAND YOU SOMETHING!" "YOU ARE SO GOOD AT SAYING PLEASE, AND THANK YOU'S"

Scenario #4 : Child puts toy back where she found it

Me: "DID YOU JUST PUT THAT TOY BACK BY YOURSELF? YOU CLEANED UP YOUR TOYS WITHOUT ME ASKING YOU TO? YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD HELPER!"

Get the idea?  As they get older, it will be even more making a big deal out of small things, like a 10 year old taking their plate to the sink, or they take their shoes to their room on their own.  The more you give positive attention to little things, the more they will do it.

What do you do when they do something negative?  Hard to do, but just notice it and mention it without too much attention, use a low voice, and move on :)

It's been fun testing this out this week, and have seen great results!  Minus a few normal temper tantrums here and there.  Hey, did I mention she was 3 years old?

Neighborhood Mom Groups

Remember back when you were a mom for the first time...and on maternity leave, bonding and spending precious time with your baby?  I am sure you could relate to wanting to be around other moms who had babies the same age as yours.  For me, most of my friends either had kids a few years older, or even just a year older, and some still had not had gone down that road yet.

So for me, finding other moms with babies just a few months within my sweet girl's birth was important to me.  I went to lots of fun mommy and me activities, but it really wasn't until a friend told me to join my neighborhood early childhood PTA that I met the most amazing group of mom friends.

But.... at first I was a little skeptical about joining a PTA when my child was a mere 3 months old.  I thought, uhm, 'isn't a PTA just for a local school, with just wanting to fundraise and get into school politics?' No thanks.  Little did I know it was the BEST decision I ever made to become a part of my group!

I first joined our PTA by going with one of my neighbors to the PTA Kick-Off party one Saturday, and we went by ourselves with our kids thinking it was a mommy and child event.  But once we got there realized how huge and family oriented the organization was, with just as many dads there playing with their kids in the bounce houses and carnival activities.

Annddd, the best thing we learned about our PTA? That they offered playgroups for each age starting at 0 up to age 6.  I went to our first playdate when my baby was 5 months old.  Pretty young huh? What does a 5 month old who isn't even sitting up do at a playdate? Well, it was more for the moms than the kids I soon learned.  A place for moms to chat about parenting issues, breastfeeding problems, sleeping through the night and how to get our pre pregnancy bodies back :)

Our little age group developed into the best mom support group ever!! I could never have imagined that an Early Childhood PTA would foster such a great group of moms and kids friendships.  We have all gotten to know each other well.  Over the years we have gone out on moms nights outs, help support each other with our next baby and pregnancies, and gotten through teething woes, potty training, sicknesses and crazy mom times.  We text each other daily for support and mommy questions, "what do I do when my child will potty everywhere, BUT the potty?"  We meet up weekly for playdates, and last minute playdates, "my child is refusing to nap, who wants to go get some yogurt?"

And here I am 3 years later, wondering where I would be without this great group of mommies.  So I wanted to spread the love and let you know where to find this great group in your area.  Just go to www.pta.org and enter your area, then look for area "Early Childhood" or "Preschool" in the name.

PTA's also offer awesome Adult Interest groups like Dinner Club and Wine and Design (where we mostly just go to a friend's house, drink wine and talk about design tips, but mostly it's wine and women time).  We also have weekly meetings with great speakers, and we have things for working and stay at home moms too.

If you live in the Dallas, TX area, here is some info on area PTA's:

Early Childhood PTAs offer something for everyone: age-related playgroups, book clubs, moms' nights out, couples parties, family outings, community outreach and monthly general meetings with informative speakers.

Join us:

North Dallas Early Childhood PTA

If you have a child, age newborn through six years, join your local early childhood PTA to connect with other moms, give back to your community, and enjoy educational and social activities for you and your child - including much-deserved nights out.  For more information, go to:

www.ndecpta.com

Lake Highlands Area Early Childhood PTA kick-off membership party

An Alice in Wonderland Adventure with bounce houses, train rides and more

Saturday, Sept. 14 from 10am-12pm

Highlands Christian Church, 9949 McCree Rd., Dallas, TX 75238

www.lhaecpta.org

Crazy Week

My week has been a little crazy to say the least.  So I don't have a great, a-ha, super-amazing post.  Just a little "my life as a mom has been a little trying" or is that every week?  I should say so with having 2 kids 3 and under.  The preschool, baby/toddler years are not easy, especially when you spend the summer without any mom's day outs or daycares and stay at home.

Anywho, so instead of a great review of a product, mom tips or counseling stuff, I have come up with my 5 Top Crazy Moments of the week.  Happy reading!

#1) Taking Your Kids to the Doctor:

When you take your little ones to the doctor, why is it so hard and crazy?

For one, when I call for a sick appointment, the times offered always seem to come around nap time, or I am having to wake one child up from the nap to go, so we are running late.  Once we arrive, I am getting out of the car in the hot sun and have to put one in a stroller to keep her strapped in.  You also have to leave them in the stroller on the sidewalk for passer bys to stop and ask outloud, 'who's child is this?' Hello, do you not see me standing 4 feet from my child, who I chose to put in the shade up on the sidewalk? and I reply, "yes, I am the parent, but see, I only have 2 hands to get out 2 children, and unfortunately that means I can not get out both at the SAME TIME." Give me a break already.  She obviously does not have children.

So we get into the office, pay the ridiculous co-pay and then wait for our turn. We get called back, vitals taken, then wait for the Dr. to come in. A-hem..with a baby, 5 minutes of waiting feels like 1.long. hour. They squirm and want out of the stroller wanting to crawl/walk on the floor and find every germ imaginable.  Crying and squealing, and then after offering every snack, sippy cup, book, and iPhone app imaginable, the Dr. finally comes in.  Spends a few minutes, diagnosis them and then you are off to go back home.  Kids back in hot car, 3 year old crying the car is too hot, baby sweating, and crying on the car ride home because she is still tired from waking up from her nap.  Fun afternoon!

And multiply all of the above X 3 and that was my week. Dr. appointment on Monday, After hours kid clinic on Sunday with fever baby, After hours clinic on Monday with 3 year old and back to Dr. office on Wednesday with fever baby.

#2) Sick child turns into sick child #2:

Ear infected baby was put on antibiotics.  Then my preschooler woke up from her nap the next day with crusty red eyes, taken to after hours pediatric center and surprise surprise, had pink eye.  Then my constant ear infected baby, being sick then turned into "why does she have a fever, she never has a fever with an ear infection?"  103 degrees, turned into 105.5 and several baths to get it down, after hours call to our doctor at 12am, then getting meds from our sweet neighbor, it finally came down to 103!  Diagnosed now with Roseola.  She had fever the next day, then the next again at 104, back to the doctor and it finally broke that night to 98.

Sigh, it had not been 98.7 in 4 days :(

Have I mentioned how scary and exhausting it is to have a high fever child at night?  You are up every hour checking on them, making sure it hasn't reached the 108 mark which means brain damage and praying the fever breaks.  By 7am, you don't even know what day it is anymore.

#3) Staying inside for 4 days:

You haven't experienced crazy until you have to stay inside for 4 days with 2 small little pumpkins.  As cute as they can be, you can only entertain them for so long with movies, crafts, toys and baking. It's constant, "it's mine!"  "I had it first!"  By the time my husband got home, I was making a beeline for a shower, a glass of wine and gossip magazines in hand or anything else that doesn't require thinking. Last night I laid down on the sofa at 8pm and didn't get back up.  I am sure my kids were going nuts too, bless their little hearts.  What did moms used to do in the hot summers before TV was invented?

#4) Car Oil

Low Oil level light comes on, no time to take into car shop, area convenience stores don't sell 5W30 synthetic oil.  Hoping my engine doesn't burn out.  Waiting on free time to run to Target (remember when you had a bunch of free time to go anywhere before you had kids?  Or better yet, what did you do with all your free time after work and on the weekends?)  Oil change appointment on Monday.  Husband is away on poker lake house trip and college football draft party.  Thank goodness for family is all I have to say :)

#5) Sleep issues

My life now revolves around naps and sleep.  Errands are based on nap times, and dinners and going out to eat are based on bed times.  And my sleep is a daily subject, or lack thereof.  A lot of conversations with my mom friends are about sleep, "is your child down to 1 nap a day? Does she nap anymore?"

So during this crazy week, my preschooler decided not to take a nap one day and is now in the phase of wanting 101 things to avoid going to sleep: needing water, milk, going potty, wanting a book, a better nightlight, I need a new pillow, I want my mom, my dad, I need a cookie, etc you name it, she asks for it via the audio monitor.  And our relaxing evenings turned into not so much until about 9:30pm.

And our baby? Being sick caused her to not sleep well, and her naps were all over the place. Taking a long one on one day, not taking any at all the next and then yesterday slept for 20 minutes total.

I am hoping we are through the clear now and can't wait for next week already.  :)