I ran across another old handout of mine to help me in responding in way so my girls motivate themselves and increase their self-esteem in these situations. To learn to just 'brush it off' and have confidence. Encouraging our children is the best technique we have. Encouraging them along the way so they know it's not all about pleasing other people, but to be happy with ourselves.
Praise: Praise is giving well, praise to our children and telling them how proud we are of them, "that's great" and "good job, you did wonderful!" Saying these things here and there is OKAY, but try to make more encouraging remarks.
Encouragement: Statements that will teach children to encourage themselves and not considered about getting praise from others
Discouragement: Belittling children and causing low-self-esteem
I've touched on this topic before here, but thought these little handouts are great reminders as our kids grow!
Praise vs Encouragement
Praise Encouragement Discouragement
You cleaned up your room just You really worked hard at You left a sock out, I hope
like I told you to! cleaning up your room! you do better next time!
You got an A! That's my girl! I can tell you are very proud You may have made an A
of your grade! in Science, but what about
You make me happy when you It was brave of you to tell the I can't believe you
tell the truth! truth, even though you knew you disobeyed me! I don't
would get in trouble want to hear another word!
You don't need my help. You're I am confident you will do Here, just let me do it for
the smartest kid in class! your best! you.
I like you a lot better when you You look so happy today. It's nice one of us had
are wearing that smile! Would you tell me about your day? an easy day! (sarcastic)
You're doing great! Growing You're looking forward to going to All teens are the same.
up just like I did. junior high and trying out all the They think they know
new opportunities. what is best for themselves, but you have no idea what you are doing.
Here's another chart with good comparisons:
You are so smart!
You are working so hard on your homework.
You are the best listener when I tell you to pick up your toys!
You sure make an effort to listen to me when I ask you to do something.
You had the highest score in your class on your test! Way to go!
You did very well on your test. You seem to really enjoy doing well in school!
I am so proud of you.
You are so proud of yourself.
You're the best at cleaning your room.
Your room looks very neat since you straightened your bookshelves.
I'm so proud of your artwork.
I can see how much you enjoy art. You take time to paint and use so many different colors.