I am a new stay at home mom to my sweet baby girl, Luna and have basically realized I have been a ‘surrogate mom’ since the age of 12 to about 10 different children as their nanny, have babysat over 320 children, in addition to having worked in 5 daycare’s over the years. So that puts me at changing about 10,000 diapers, wiping 500 runny noses, rocked hundreds to sleep, cleaning up that many messes, scrapes, bruises, you name it!Oh, and I am also an Aunt to 4 wonderful children who are 12 and under.
In addition, with my B.A. degrees in child development and psychology from UT in 1996 and an M.A. Master’s in child and family counseling from Texas State in 2001, plus my LPC license (Licensed Professional Counselor) of 2000 hours of direct contact clients as well as my Play Therapy specialization (Registered Play Therapist: 500 hours of direct counseling and 150 hours of play therapy education) and years of internships and counseling, I figured, heck, it was time to start putting ALL this kid experience into a blog – a good way to de-stress as a parent and still feel connected to my passion, play therapy.
So, for those that want to keep reading and have the long version of
where I got where I am today as a counselor and a mom, here it is:
It all started as a young child when I just loved babies and begged my
mom to babysit when I was in the 6th grade. My first babysitting job was
for a 1st grader and I was only allowed to sit during the daytime. Her
mom had to come and pick me up and then take me home! After that, I
babysat all over my neighborhood until I left for college.
In college, I decided my first major/career was to be a photographer and
I went to St. Edwards's University of Austin, TX to be a
photojournalism major, but then decided it was just not for me so I
became an 'undeclared' major and transferred to UT Austin. What the heck
I was going to do? I had no idea and it was so overwhelming to decide
on a career for the rest of your life!
My second year of college, I needed extra money and took the job I
always knew how to do well, babysitting! I started my first nanny job
from 3-7pm Monday-Friday for a 6 year old boy and his 9 year old sister.
I would pick them up from school and take them to various after-school
activities and make sure they did their homework, etc. It was hard work
that's for sure!
The next semester I worked in my first daycare at UT Presby Child
Development Center 5 days a week from 3-6:30pm. I was in the toddler
room for 12-24 month olds and loved it! I would also substitute in the
infant room at times and loved feeding the babies and rocking them to
sleep. The only bad part was that I kept getting sick from all the
other sick kids and was missing too much school, so I had to quit after a
year :( But I kept in touch with the parents and would babysit their
kids on the weekends.
I still had no idea what I was going to major in and I was approaching
my Junior year. So my next idea was to major in Food Science
since I loved baking but then quickly decided it was not for me with
having to take 3 chemistry classes, no thank you!
So then I just could not decide and kept going over and over ideas. I
knew I always loved kids, but what could I do with that passion?? After
babysitting one little girl from the daycare I worked at, and having to
set her house alarm all the time because her dad I had learned was an
'abuser', I started thinking about how many of the kids I had worked
with in the past had family problems and issues while at preschool and
how much help they needed in and out of the classroom. I remember
sitting up late one night and finally deciding that what I wanted to do
was help kids, not educationally as a teacher, but to help them with their behavior problems, family problems, etc. I
realized that they could be the smartest kid in the world, but if their
parents are fighting at home, there is no way they can do well in
school or excel, and these poor kids needed help!
So I decided to focus on Psychology and Child Development majors. I
LOVED all of my child development classes and studied the whole NAYEC
backgrounds. After graduating, I worked as a daycare temporary worker in
several area daycares and then as a preschool teacher for a short time.
I knew I wanted to set up shop soon and start helping these poor little
innocent things.
I found that I needed to go back to school for an
advanced degree and wanted a PhD but was like, what another 5 more
years?? I found I could get a master's in 2 years and then do an
internship after that, so off I went to Southwest Texas State in their
Child and Family Counseling tract. They offered a play therapy
specialization which I LOVED as it fit the same NAEYC philosophy that I
studied as an undergrad at UT.
I was a full-time grad student but classes were luckily in the evenings
so my day job was as a nanny to a 3 month old girl part-time. I then found another part-time nanny job to a 3 month old on alternate days. I was also the babysitting queen
on the weekends as I was with a nanny agency that handed my name out as a
babysitter as well! If you drove me around Austin today, I would point
out about every other house and tell you I once babysat there!
I fell in love with the whole play therapy thing while in school and
could not wait to graduate and start using it! And now you are probably
wondering what the heck play therapy is, so here is my best description
of it, in my terms:
- Adults communicate their day to day problems with words, whereas a
child communicates through play. Their language is play and they use
toys as their 'words' to express themselves. There is a special play
room just for the kids to play and with preselected toys for them to
express themselves as much as they want (as long as they don't hurt the
toys, themselves or us). We don't analyze every thing they play with,
it's more that we make comments that will foster self esteem, encourage
and increase expression of feelings and basically to let the kids know
we are there and they can be themselves safely, without any judgement!
You would expect an adult to discuss their problems such as saying
things like, "oh I had a rough day, my boss drove me nuts, I was so
tired from not getting enough sleep, and my wife is on my back when I
get home, etc" Whereas a 5 year old child uses play to communicate. You
won't catch a 5 year old calling his friends on the phone to discuss his
day and saying things like "my teacher is annoying me, I am having a
bad day, I just need to take a hot bath and relax, I don't know what I
am going to do about Fred on the playground tomorrow!''
They just aren't
capable of expressing themselves like this and feel better releasing
steam by playing, where us adults feel better by calling up our best
friend on the phone!! So, to expect a child to come into a counseling
room and sit down in a chair to tell you his problems, not going to
happen! That is why we have play therapy for kids aged around 9 and
under. More on play therapy later, but you get the idea.
So, after 3 years of school, that was 70 hours of classes and 2
internships as a domestic violence counselor, I graduated!! I could not
for the life of me find a job in Austin (too many people want to stay
there so it makes it hard to find a job), so I interviewed in Dallas for
several positions and found one at The Family Place as a child
counselor.
I loved my new job as I worked with kids 1 years of age and up that were
victims of emotional, verbal and physical abuse as well as witnessing
abuse from their parents. I did this for over 2 years and the hardest
part was working with the moms. I quickly learned that the only way
these poor kids were going to get any better was if I helped the moms
help their children. I was only with these kids 1 hour a week, but the
parents were with them full-time! I came to learn that as a counselor,
my job to help kids would be to parent train for 75% and then 25% would
be to actually do therapy with the child.
That was when I learned to
love Filial Therapy, training parents about how they can do play therapy
at home. So I finally left this non-profit mostly to earn more money
as a managed care LPC, and to start a private practice so I had the
freedom to do what I wanted as a counselor. I finally completed my
requirements and became a Registered Play Therapist and started a
part-time private practice while I worked full time in managed care as
an LPC.
Then after these experiences and getting my career on tract, and getting
married a few years ago, I decided it was time to have a baby! I always wanted to be a stay at home mom after my experiences as a child and as a nanny, so I just knew
that I would do whatever it took to stay home with my child. If that
meant being poor and eating peanut butter sandwiches for dinner every
night, then so be it. I have really enjoyed being at home with my
precious children and could not imagine anything better!
So there you have it, yep it was long I know, but I had to put it all
out there, so that way you know where I am coming from and all your
questions are answered, well at least most! Soooo, in a nutshell, this
blog is about my day to day occurrences with my daughters and how all of
my past experiences have affected me now that I am a parent and a wife,
to my lovely husband Todd. I hope you enjoy reading all of our
adventures!!
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